Celebrating Mother’s Day when you don't have a mother

Last Sunday was a national day of recognizing the sacrifices, commitment, unconditional love, and our relationship with our Mom.

Unless your like me and many of the people I work with...someone who doesn’t have a relationship with their mother...either by choice or death.  Then it becomes a day of remembering the how and why you don’t have the relationship to honor and celebrate.  Generally leaving you feeling a little isolated, lonely, and/or depressed.

I wanted you to know you are not alone.

Many people who grew up in dysfunctional or abusive homes choose to step back or end the relationships with some or all of their family members for the benefit of their emotional health and happiness.  While it is generally a very difficult decision, fraught with fear and guilt, sometimes it is necessary.

Having your own children, especially when they’re young, can make getting through the day (and allllllll the days leading up to it) a little easier.  Though every year there is a reminder that you don’t have something everyone longs for and deserves.

My mother died when I was 23 years old and of course, Mother’s Day has not been the same since.  Though celebrating a relationship with a certain level of unhealthiness isn’t ideal either 😉 .

While I don’t have my own mother to celebrate with, this year I was fortunate enough to be able to spend it with my mother-in-law, who I am very grateful for and fortunate to have in my life.  I also got to Skype with my own children at end the day.

How was Mother’s Day for you this year?  Is your mother still in your life?  If not, was it by choice?  I’m just realizing I think I know more people who chose to not have a relationship with their mother.

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