Why doesn’t she leave? I would never let someone treat me that way! What is wrong with her? She deserves what she gets if she stays. She must like it.
These are just a few of the most common questions and statements made when hearing about a domestic violence situation.
However, when someone makes these types of comments and they are left unchallenged it perpetuates the idea that it is the victim’s fault she is being abused.
This is not only true for society as a whole, but for victims’s themselves. I’m not sure anyone could say harsher things to or about a victim than she says to herself. All of the statements/questions at the beginning are things most all victims have said or asked themselves at some point. Often leading her to take on the responsibility of the abusers behavior and staying in the relationship.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I will be posing on a few different aspects of domestic violence over the next few weeks. I would also love to provide a space for others to share their story of survival and hope.
As much as we might like to pretend it only happens to certain people, the truth is any of us could find ourselves in an abusive relationship. It can happen to the strongest, smartest, most independent women you know.
1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence. From my experience, this number is even higher for survivors of child abuse, particularly sexual abuse. Reflecting back, every woman who has come to me as a result of domestic violence has also had a history of child abuse.
I welcome your comments and questions. If you have a story to share, please feel free to do so. If you have something a little longer to share than might be appropriate for a “comment” you can email me your story.
What would you like to see or hear to aid in raising awareness of domestic violence? What do you think would be helpful for victims to hear?