I’m sitting at Starbucks on Friday morning wondering what the hell (I hope the language doesn't offend anyone, I actually held back a little 😉 ) I’m doing. I just came from my office after meeting someone to pick up some of my furniture. After she left I went back to the space where I see clients and suddently, and very unexpectedly became really emotional.
I decided to get out of there and regroup. I thought writing might help move through the feelings (hint, hint 🙂 ) so here I am, writing this post.
Yesterday was my last day seeing clients. The last day of actively being a therapist. The loss of so many incredible relationships I’ve had over the years.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have time after my last client to sit with the significance of it because I had to get the furniture ready for the person bright and early this morning. After getting home I noticed being a little irritable and feeling resentful of not having the opportunity to grieve the ending of this part of my life.
So, during all of this I have questioned my decision to go along with my husband’s crazy idea of giving up my practice (in its current form), our home and everything in it, my car, the beautiful Arizona weather, our settled life.
I don’t like the unknown, I don’t like humidity or bugs (Florida has both), and I like my stuff! Especially my rug & lamp, oh, and mirror, and..... .
Then, I think about how lucky I am to be able to do this...take time off and travel. How grateful I am to have had so many incredible women (and a few men 😉 ) allow me to be with them through their most vulnerable times. And realize that although I will not have ongoing relationships, the connection...the meaning remains.
And if I really look at the bright side, I’ve gotten confirmation that if I don’t go back to being a therapist maybe I really could be an interior decorator 🙂 .
The moral of the story comes from someone who seems to have a lot of great insight, Dr Seuss... It has really helped me reframe many difficult situations.
Don’t cry because it’s over....smile because it happened
And I have so, so much to smile about!
So back to the office I go, sorting through and packing up, Though now I will be able to do it with a few smiles thrown in.
Full disclosure….I journaled through my reaction and feelings before writing this post….in case you might be thinking this is what journaling or working through your feelings should look like 😉 .