Today’s post is the 5th story of healing for Sexual Assault Awareness Month.
Remember, everyone’s journey is different. This is meant to let people know that healing does happen and to identify all the different ways and all the different areas that your life can grow and change.
***Please be aware, the following is a story of someone’s journey through sexual abuse and healing. You may find aspects triggering. If you need help, please contact RAINN @ 800.656.HOPE(4673).
For the first time in my life I’m in therapy and taking care of me. I’ve made a commitment to myself and to this process I call “A Journey to Better”. For a long time I’ve tried to heal myself but it’s hard to know what needs to be fixed if you don’t know what’s wrong. Therapy has definitely shined a bright ass light on my path. It’s not easy and when it’s hard to see how things could get better I try to focus on how much stronger and confident I am today than I was 4months ago.
What I’ve learned is that it’s not about the abuse itself, it’s about what the abuse makes you feel and believe about yourself. My abuse made me believe that I’m crazy, unimportant and that my feelings don’t matter. It made me believe that I somehow deserved what happened to me, that it was my fault and that I could never be loved because of it...
My abuse started at age 5, I have 3 abusers and as a child I abused my younger brother...
The journey to healing is for every survivor. Even if you don’t believe it right now, you deserve to be better than ok. Change is hard but I think staying the same is harder. I’ve been surviving my whole life and for the first time I’m learning how to live. Accepting the reality of the horrible things I’ve lived through has helped me to realize my real strength. I’m not who I thought I was, I’m so much more than that.