Election 2024 - Reflections from a trauma therapist: Navigating grief, uncertainty, and self-care

It’s been a difficult few days. If you follow me, there’s a good chance it has been for you too.

I’m writing this a little more than 24 hours after waking to the results of the US election. I went to bed before Pennsylvania was called. While I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep, I also knew that continuing to watch was not good for me. I awoke about 4 hours later with a text from my son sharing his disbelief.

I layed there for a while trying to decide if I wanted to turn on the news or ignore it. I knew once I saw it, it would feel real. I layed there in the dark, feeling numb with so many thoughts bouncing around in my mind. I wasn’t ready to be forced out of the numbness into the reality of all it meant.

I preemptively took this week off knowing that I would be stressed in the few days leading up to it and devastated if he won. I wanted to practice what I preach around self-care and honoring our needs. I did allow myself to hope and even look forward to taking the rest of the week to celebrate such an important and historic moment.

Unfortunately, there is no celebrating.

Yesterday I vacillated between numbness, heartbreak, fear, disbelief, and moments of rage. The intensity of those feelings have dissipated a bit today but they are still there. And, they will likely come back strongly in moments over the next days, weeks… .

Everyone will have varying feelings and degrees to which they feel them around this, and even more significantly, the reality of what it all means. What it means about who we are as a people and the very real and horrifying implications around policy and law.

As a straight, white woman*, there are many things I have not, nor will I personally experience. There are many things I could never truly or fully understand from having a lived experience. I want to be clear that though I may not know, it matters generally, and it matters to me. It matters in the spaces I create. *(Some of you know that I relatively recently found out I am half latina however, I will continue to identify myself as white to acknowledge my privilege and lived experience).

I share this because knowing that the majority of white people who voted, voted for a serial sexual perpetrator (among many other criminal and abhorrent behaviors), racist, misogynist, xenophobe, hateful, ignorant bully means that in the majority of spaces in this country, the majority of people (for one reason or another) may not feel safe.

I hope and desire for you to feel, and to be able to trust, that you are honored here.

The idea that so many people are feeling betrayed and mistrusting of those around them is one of the things that feels so incredibly heartbreaking to me. As a woman and survivor, I feel this too but obviously not in all the ways many others are.

This is a challenging time for many people, and not just those in the US. I was brought to tears after a friend shared a thread where women across the globe were posting their solidarity, standing with women in the US. This was before results came in. I haven’t gone back to see any updates since then. I’m sure it would bring up lots of emotion and I’m feeling pretty content with my numbness right now. 😉

Part of my self-care is limiting the content I’m consuming. It’s also allowing myself to feel the feelings when they arise. Letting the tears fall. I will need to stay mindful of checking in with myself as we navigate through this time. Intentional distraction is and will continue to be something I do. I’m also going to make an intentional effort to connect and engage with others who I know are feeling similarly, even if I’m not necessarily feeling like I want to while also honoring my energetic capacity.

Please let this be a reminder for you. A reminder to practice self-care, in both big and small ways. A reminder of the importance of connection. A reminder to honor what is present for you and to remember that your feelings are valid and they, and you, matter. 💜

How are you doing? Really? If you are not in the US, I’d love to hear from you too. #togetherweheal

*If you are someone who voted or supports him, you are likely feeling a lot too. Please be respectful of this post/space. This is for those who are grieving and fearful as well as those who want to help create a safe space for them.

Categories: : Blog